The art of change for happiness

You must be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mohandas Gandhi

There are certain constants in this world and one of them are change. Last night I went to a benefit for Room to Read, an organization that raises funds so that children can afford books. It was a good event with a very good turn out. However it’s always the people that makes a function work, makes it worth going. And I met some very cool people, one person in particular that sparked me to write this  and gave me some ingredients to write this today. I’ll get to that in a bit.

Oprah sets the tone of the day
I am not a big Oprah fan but every so often I will surf past the station and catch something interesting… Okay but I do enjoy it. Yesterday was a show that featured director Tom Shadyac, Long story short, he directed films like Bruce Almighty and The Nutty Professor. He became a millionare from all of his work in Hollywood, however he was not happy and gave it all away. You can see more of his story on Oprah’s page here. I was impressed as to where he was going. Having gone through so many financial down turns in my life it made me feel a connection with folks rich or poor knowing that happiness is truly in ones soul.

Back to last night, There were many upscaled looking folks at this mid trendy little spot in the Westwood area. “I likes to mingle” and usually get lost in a world of people’s stories. No matter the suites, the fancy dresses, the big boobs, the bonus driven careers and big talk. There was an underlying tone of stress and unhappiness in  people living the so called rat race. Too much traffic, too much stress, too expensive, not enough time… not happy.

I was sitting with a person that I know will be a long time friend because we were on similar vibes. We had been chatting away for about an hour from everything from politics to the carmilized onions in my grilled cheese sandwich. Towards the end of the night a friend of his showed up, very attractive girl who was a riot. Before we knew it she was telling her story. She had been an executive for a long time, 100k plus jobs, high roller and big baller. She spoke of how after years of doing this she was unhappy for what ever reason, and quit. For a while she took classes to see what made her happy, pottery classes, Yoga and maybe even basket weaving, it wasn’t until she helped to decorate a friend’s room that she realized what made her happy. She ended up pursuing her passion from the bottom up. Something that can be crazy and demoralizing, but she took it in stride and very gracefully from what I can tell. She is now working as an intern for a prominent interior designer. From Exec to intern in less than 40. She has a blog that she writes that I think is an impromptu the changing life as we know it. Check out Almost40yearoldintern.com.

I use to work 3 jobs at one point of my married life, to live in a house that was 3 times more expensive than it was supposed to be, in an area that was socially depressed, for a person that didn’t really appreciate me or my hard work. I remember sleeping an hour a day and crawling to my bed from whatever job I just got back from. 22 hours of work, is that happiness? Is that normal? Just so you can say that you own a home, or can take your wife to dinner, or your son to Disneyland, because I was not happy or healthy.  This had to change. And I changed everything about my life learning from the rich, the poor, the middle class and others before me that changed their lives to be happy. And I am doing just what I love, may not be living in the lap of luxury, but I am doing things for those that inspired me. Maybe one day you will see it.

Change comes in so many ways, sometimes by choice as in my circumstance and by outside circumstances not really controlled by us as in the case of the almost40intern. How do we achieve change? Well we just change. And it is not determined by how much we make during that change, how long it takes us to get there or the magnitude of that change. All that matters is that we do something that makes a difference in our lives and others. If we can understand that we are the change that we want to see in the world, then why not make our world more rewarding and in turn make others worlds rewarding. How many people out there who are unhappy will have their lives affected by the Almost40yearoldintern. Or maybe even me (doubt it). This is the best time in almost forever for change. Change is not only looming over us as  individual but globally. I’m starting to realize that more people are less happier than they say they are.  Do we really want to be around unhappy people?

Your house, your money, your things and even the people that you are with does not make happiness. the ability to chnage for the better and being content with what you have makes you happy.

The art of stability

If tomorrow there were an earthquake and it took away everything that you had, where is your stability then?

There is no real stability. Stability has been used as a word by the superficial and mundane to appear succesful or safe. To understand the idea of stability, one must understand the ways of nature. Very often when I speak about the draw backs of western so-called alert society, I often turn to nature. Humanity was not meant to go against the ways of nature, we were meant to live harmoniously with it. The stability in nature is to understand that there is no stability.

When I was 10 I was fascinated by the red wood forest and all of its huge trees, slugs and shiny lizards. I remember there was a patch of trees that set out so neatly in a nice semi-circle. I remember there were 13 trees there and thought it odd that this patch of trees set in this formation. I went back some time later and saw those same trees. However there were only 5 there this time, some new trees were sprouting, some tilted to the side and a few burnt and singed. I have never seen a forest fire but am aware that they happen. But I am sure that a tree is not worried about its stability to sustain life for itself. No it continues to do the job that it was made to do, give shade to the forest, oxygen to its carbon based counter parts and reproduce. If a tree had the mentality of a human, it would stop giving shade because it was too extraneous, stop giving oxygen because the tree worked hard for it and no one else deserves it, and not create offspring because the forest is just too crowded anyway, no but it keeps on going. A tree lives according to its design, according to nature and the balance of life and death. We meddle into the lives of the forest by clearing shrub and trying to prevent forest fires. But these things are necessary in its growth.

The path of contentment and living naturally is understanding that there is no stability. Show me a person who claim that they are so-called stable, and I can show you someone who has had to give  up on love, freedom, life and true happiness because it did not fit into their stability. I haven’t seen one stable person who hasn’t been in an accident, financially up against the wall or stressed out by the things that keep them stable. Isn’t mental stability part of this as well (rhetorical). We live in a very interesting time. Things are changing and we must change with it, just as nature does. If stability is never having to worry about where your next meal is coming from, having a nice safe room or house, security, no outside influence on dogma, a strict constitution of laws and rules, people of the same race religion and creeds sticking together and a little recreation on the side for the rest of your life, well I only know of one place like this California State correctional Facility AKA Prison. I’ve never been stable and I don’t think I want to be.

Break free from your prison, Open your minds, and fear nothing…

The art of listening

If others believe that you are dumb, they will tell you things that you do not know…

Intelligence is not how much you talk but how much you listen. I often wonder why people ask for so much and talk so much, and the answer to their question is right before them. I rather enjoy sitting around listeing to all that is around me, as if a child watching a show taking in every moment of life. And the proof of the creator in everything. I listen to a guy on the corner with the scruffy beard who drops one too many curse words. Or the women who walk by talking about what they want to buy or eat. I listen with my soul, to that which created all of this. These lessons have brought me to a place of compassion and understanding within the realms of communication. To be able to communicate compassion for none less than everything, is not done with the mouth or the ears, these are just doors to our perception. Passing through to be processed by the brain and heart. If the brain processes it negatively, then so will it be absorbed  into the heart. If it pass through the brain as positive then so will it rest in the heart and reflect your being.

In nature I am amazed as to how we are even able to see or hear. The eyeball is this squishy mass of flesh that is filled with cones and rods that capture and process light, our minds process that light to give us the illusion that this is what the world really looks like. But does it really? Some people are born color blind, some can see sound as colors, some are born without sight all together. Butterflies see things in black and white and fluorescent only. Bees see over one hundred images in one eye. This is how they perceive things, I have never told a  bee or a butterfly that they are wrong in their thinking. Our perception and our ability to listen shapes our world. Not what others lead us to believe what our world be like.  be kind with others and how they see things, not all bad people say bad things all the time, and not all good say good things all the time. There is wisdom and beauty in everything for those who truly listen, understand and believe.

Seek truth